A few months ago I had some time to run a few errands (sans toddler, woo hoo!) and I swung into a Starbucks to write a little bit. I settled myself at a small table with a cappuccino and a protein bistro box and quickly connected to their wifi. They always have good wifi! I was having a good writing day and was just in a great mood in general.
As I was typing away, a mother–who appeared to be a stay at home mom–walked in with a son about four by her side and a baby on her hip. She went right up to the counter and ordered something, not sure what, and then made her way to the receiving side. At that same moment, a woman–who was dressed to the nines–walked by and looked the mom up and down. That woman was wearing what was probably the season’s hottest Tory Burch sheath dress, makeup that looked expertly applied by someone at the Bobbi Brown counter at Neiman’s, killer heels, freshly cut and volumized amber-colored hair with some uberly expensive purse on her arm.
After said woman scoped the mom up and down, she turned and looked at me with what I could best describe as the Nina Katz face from that Sex and the City episode and shook her head.
I mean, I’m not gonna lie, the stay at home mom did look a little homely. She appeared a bit crunchy with an outdated style and an overdue haircut.
But, who cares?!
You know what I saw? I saw a mom who is raising two bright children who did not make a PEEP in the store, who felt confident enough she could bring them in and they would behave without even packing them in a stroller to contain them. I was actually quite envious of her that she had a son who stayed right by her side, as I was having (and still do at times) a rough time keeping mine right near me when we go places.
What I saw was a mom who was probably more happy in her oversized, non-designer label jeans and busted flip flops than the nasty women who clicked her heels out the door and put on chic sunglasses.
What I saw was someone who judged another person without knowing anything about them.
What I saw was a lady that might have had the most expensive ensemble on actually be the ugliest person in the room.
What also rubbed me the wrong way was why did I seem to be someone that would be welcoming of such a nasty look? I find it ironic, and equally offensive, since I am typically that mom on most days. Grabbing the first yoga pants I can reach in my drawer (sometimes they are my maternity ones, aaaannnddd my son is three), wearing tank tops that I frequently wear to bed as well, pulling my hair that hasn’t been blow-dried in days into ugly buns just trying to get out the door. I mean, I once wore two different flip flops to one of my son’s newborn doctor’s appointments. It’s basically survival mode most days.
The mom thankfully never saw the exchange, as she was gleefully involved with her well-mannered children, and went about her business. This just makes me think–can you imagine how many exchanges like this happen every day? We have NO idea what people are doing, how good some are, how happy they are and what is going on in their lives. Someone that can appear so put together can actually be a really bad person, and someone who might look a little frazzled and unkempt could be the one is doing the most good in the world.
Let’s keep an open mind people and worry about your own biznass….